


All For You

by hamwrites



Series: Zombie Boyfriend [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Multichapter, One Night Stands, apocalypse au, jeanmarco, zombie apocalypse AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamwrites/pseuds/hamwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Jean Kirschtien, and everything I do is for you. From breathing your air to bringing you back from Hell, it's all for you.</p><p>And you just so happen to be an undead half rotted teenager with freckles. Great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Jean Kirschtien, and curiosity killed my best friend.
> 
> ((This is a zombie apocalypse au; basically everything is the same except they're fighting living corpses uvu rated T for now, but will go up to mature and eventually explicit later on. I also plan on writing Marco's POV under the title 'All For Him'. The song Jean has as his ringtone is here: [[x](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTvu5HB_Y6k)]

"Jean, this is stupid, we're gonna get in so much trouble!" Marco aggressively whispered from behind me, struggling to leap off of the pile of trash and into the sewers below. "Not to mention disgusting."

"Aw, c'mon, Marco! Aren't you curious? I mean, they're not letting us outside the walls anytime soon. Even if we join the Recon Corps, it'll be months before they let us on their turf," I shouted back, my voice echoing throughout the damp walls.

"Jean, be quiet! Someone might hear us," Marco scolded, his tone still a hasty whisper.

"Pfft, who's gonna hear us all the way out here?" I laughed at my best friend's paranoia, and after he successfully made his way out of the garbage mountain, we both trekked our way into the darkness.

Before I go any further, I think it's only fair I introduce myself. I'm Jean Kirschtien, and before you ask, it's pronounced "jeh-OHN", not "JEAN." It's French, look it up. I'm fifteen years old, and I enlisted into the military three years ago, along with my best friend Marco. I never really planned on enlisting, but after the Outpour, I didn't really have a choice.

I still remember when it first hit my city. It was my first day of second grade, and I was really excited. I had to wear a mask over my mouth, though, and when I asked my mom why that was, she told me there was a virus going around. I thought nothing of it, after all, it was none of my concern. I was only a child.

Everything was relatively normal at first: Marco stopped by, my mom took pictures, we walked to school. We hung our coats and backpacks, raised our hands for attendance, you get the gist. It was around reading time when the alarm went off, a big red flashing light accompanied by an ear-piercing siren. Some of us cried out of surprise. Some of us held our ears in pain. Some of us just stood, unsure as to what was happening.

What happened after that is all a blur to me. I remember bits and pieces; frantic teachers running around, big men in leather armor and bigger guns, being shoved into a van alongside Marco, holding his hand. I remember waiting in a big open place with lots of other people, like the main lobby of an airport. I remember getting on another big van, this time with my parents and my older brother. The last thing I remember is looking up as the thick metal gates of the walls opened up, and seeing all the people with guns lined across the top, like dominoes.

Like I said, it's all pretty fuzzy. I don't know if it happened within a few hours, or a few weeks. I just know that I ended up moving in a small house next door to Marco's, just like before.

My casual recap of events was cut off abruptly by Marco's hand on my shoulder. I snapped out of it, noticing that we were in a different part of the sewer system altogether. How long had we been walking?

"Jean, don't panic," Marco said through his teeth, his muscles tense under his plaid button-up. I was confused at his sudden change in demeanor, until I glanced at the same direction his eyes were pointed at, and I saw them.

The Ravenous.

If you're new here, or just haven't been around the last eight years, let me give you a crash course on the Ravenous. The Ravenous are basically walking corpses, like zombies, really. There are four subcategories of Ravenous, each with its own little special way of making you shit your pants. The most common type is 'grig-class', which are the least deadly. They have skin ranging from pale greens and yellows to cold grays, depending on how long they've been around. They hunt mostly at night, and don't seem to show any sign if intelligence other than the ability to grunt.

The second type is 'dagaz-class', or daywalkers. They are the only type of Ravenous that can be spotted exclusively in daylight. They are smaller than grigs, roughly the size of a small child, but run at incredibly fast speeds, and they make harsh gargly sounds when confronted.

Then, there is 'spotta-class.' They're solitary, and it's extremely rare to see two at the same time, let alone in packs. Spottas typically range from seven to ten feet tall, and everything in between. They have tough, extremely dense skin that bullets can't penetrate, so soldiers have to get in close proximity with them to use their blades. Problem is, spottas also have acidic spit, and it's highly corrosive. Not a fun way to die.

Finally, there are 'oregals.' These are the oddballs of the group, varying in special abilities, sizes, speed, you name it. We know next to nothing about them, besides the fact that the head is they're weak spot.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, the encounter.

I froze up, my training instincts kicking in. There was a pack maybe sixty, seventy feet away from us. From the looks of it, there were eight grig-class and a spotta, too many for just me and Marco to fight off. I had my standard issue handgun with me, but it could only hold six bullets, and assuming I was a good enough shot to make them count, I'd still have to deal with three other freaks. Marco was unarmed.

"Jean, listen to me, we have to get back. We have to warn the others. You remember what happened the last time Ravenous were spotted in the the sewer, don't you? Wall Maria was overrun," Marco whispered through his gritted teeth. I could tell he was trying to steady his voice, but it came out as harsh and wary.

"Okay, lets turn back," I agreed quickly, and just as we started tromping back into the black water, my cellphone rang.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

_"The future is bulletproof, the after math is secondary,"_

  
Nonononono if there was an inappropriate time for My Chemical Romance it was definitely now.

  
 _"It's time to do it now and do it loud,"_

  
I stood scared out of my mind right next to Marco. The shuffling behind us stopped. They knew we were here.

 

_"Killjoys, make some noise!"_

  
Silence.

There was a raspy screech from deep in the tunnel. They had an oregal with them.

Instantly, I ran, dragging Marco with me. I didn't care if we made noise, they already knew we were down there, and I didn't feel like making new friends.

 

_"Drugs gimme drugs gimme drugs, I don't need 'em"_

I couldn't think straight, a million trains of thought crashing into each other inside my skull. My legs were pumping on their own, my eyes trying desperately to try and find a familiar looking tunnel. I was gripping Marco's hand hard, my knuckles ghostly white. The flashlight in his other hand waved sporadically, and we heard scraping on the walls behind us. The oregal was a wall-runner, and it was catching up.

_"Eight legs to the wall, hit the gas, kill 'em all, and we crawl, and we crawl, and we crawl"_

  
My heart was pounding against my ribcage, threatening to burst any second now. I needed to run, to find safety, to protect Marco-

"AH!" Marco cried, and I looked over at him. The oregal had jumped on him, and was clinging onto his back like a fucking gremlin. I took my gun out of my harness with my free hand, my other one never leaving Marco's.

"Jean, please, I'm scared!" Marco cried, tears starting to run down his face. I felt them escaping my ducts too, hot and salty and blurring my vision. Through the light of the flashlight, I could make out features of the ugly thing. Pale skin covered in purple and blue veins, patches of flesh oozing black liquid and showing off raw brown meat. It hissed at me, stringy black hair clinging onto its contorted face. I shot it straight in the frontal lobe without hesitation.

Its limp body fell into the sewer water, and I led Marco in the direction of a nearby inspection cap. The thick iron door was still open from the inspection last week, bastards must'v thought it wasn't important.

I threw Marco inside, and used everything in me to close the hatch, pushing the Ravenous back. I managed to complete the task, but not without taking a grig's arm with me. The limb spasmed and twisted for a few seconds, and then fell lifeless.

I breathed, trying to remember how to function. _Breathe, breathe, walk, left, right, left right, Marco, sit, sit next to Marco, breathe_. By now, whoever was calling had gotten impatient and hung up, the sound of the heavy music no longer lingering in the tunnels.

"Holy shit, Marco, you were right. I can't believe it's gotten so bad outside the walls," I chocked out through huffs of breath. "I mean, just last month we were clear of anything outside the gates, and we had sewer inspections a week ago, I can't believe-"

"H-hey, Jean..." Marco coughed, his voice hoarse and ragged,breathing labored, his freckled face losing all its color. I was about to ask him what he needed, when I looked down at his lap. He was clutching his wrist, and a nasty gash was spewing blood a few inches above his elbow. I thought he had cut himself when we were running, but then I noticed the teeth marks. The oregal had bitten him.

 

"Oh my god. Ok, ok, oh my god, uhh, d-don't worry Marco," I said, but my voice cracked and I could feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes again. I took off my leather jacket and unzipped the hoodie I was wearing underneath it, taking it off as well and using the sleeve to try and stop the bleeding.

  
"Jean."

  
"It's ok, you're gonna be ok, we just have to patch you up, a-and I can get you out of here!" I tried to sound confident, but my voice quivered.

  
"Jean."

  
"We can take you to Hanji, o-or to Armin, I'm sure he can fix you up, you'll be fi-"

  
"Jean!"

I looked him in the eye, my face silently conveying _'don't you dare'_ at his. His chocolate brown eyes looked straight into me, and I knew what he was gonna ask.

  
"Do it."

I refused to believe it. I swallowed, a hard lump forming in my dry throat, and asked, "Do what?"

  
"Shoot me."

It was too much. Anger was boiling up inside me, threatening to spew out like hot lava. "Don't say shit like that, man, you're gonna be fine!" I borderline barked at him, and he responded with the same amount of ferocity.

"You and I both know I'm not gonna be fine, Jean!" Marco snapped, the wild look in his eyes immediately fading as he composed himself. "Jean, please."  
I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, and I gripped his hand. "M-Marco..."

"I'm asking you as a friend, Jean. Please. I don't want them to see me like this. My friends, my family. Please."

I had no choice. I couldn't take Marco up to the surface, he'd be shot on the spot. If I left him here, he'd turn Ravenous in a matter of hours, suffering excruciating pain all the while. I took my gun out of my harness as we said our goodbyes.

"M-Marco, I want you to know I love you. I love you more than anyone in the world. I need you to know that," I sobbed, trying to steady my hand.

"I love you too, Jean. More than you could imagine. I'm gonna miss you," Marco said with a soft smile, but I could see the pain in his watery eyes. I held the gun to the side of his temple, and gave his hand one last squeeze.

"See you in the afterlife, buddy." I unclicked the safety.

"Don't go getting yourself killed, ok? I can wait as long as I need," He soothed, and rubbed his thumb across my hand. He was ready.

  
I closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger.

  
I heard the gun go off, but I didn't move. I felt warm, thick liquid splat on my face and clothes. I dropped the gun.

  
I sat there, and wept next to the cold body of my best friend.


	2. Nightmares and Geography

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean's life sucks a lot but at least he has a cool gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I know all you hardcore Jeanmarco shippers are gonna hate me for the Jean x Annie situation right now but BEAR WITH ME KIDDOS IT'LL BE OVER SOONJNJNVFVHHV also I'd be lying if I said I didn't ship them a little bit.  
> I know this chapter drags on a bit and it's a little slow but I just wanted to get Jean's backstory out of the way before the action starts.  
> On a side note, I wanted to mention that Hanji will be going by they/their pronouns since they don't have a confirmed gender.

Warm sun hit my face through holes in the leaves of the giant oak tree. The grass felt soft underneath me, and I absentmindedly played with a ladybug.  
The war between the Living and the Dead had been over for some time now and humanity had been restored. Finally, after what felt like centuries, things were almost back to normal.

"Jean," I heard my name being cooed. "Jeaaan."

I looked up, and Marco was walking towards me, a picnic basket in one hand and a six pack of beer in the other.

"Marco," I crooned sleepily, and he sat next to me under the shade. I watched him as he unveiled the picnic basket an began to lay out its contents. Slim, delicate fingers contrasted heavy, calloused palms, and before I knew it there was a carpet of food before us.

"Drink up," he told me, and handed me a beer.

"Marco, where'd you get this? I thought they stopped making alcohol after the Outpour," I asked, but I didn't give him time to answer before I popped open the can and took a swig. The bitter liquid burned my throat, and I gagged.

"Ha, you always were a lightweight," Marco laughed, and I would have been annoyed if it wasn't music to my ears. His laugh was smooth and sweet, like melted butter, and the freckles at his eyes crinkled ever so slightly. I gave him a light punch to the shoulder, and we sat there, eating our feast and staring off at the ruins of the Walls.

I almost dozed off again, but Marco turned to me and said something. I could see his lips moving, forming words, but no sound was coming out. I tried saying something back, but it seemed I had the same problem. The horizon was melting; fading almost, and so was Marco, like heat waves were distorting my vision. I was screaming, trying to make a sound, any sound, but my vocal chords had gone mute.

From somewhere in the distance, I heard a muffled noise. The noise grew louder and clearer, until I snapped awake. I panted, gripping the light green sheets of my bed. I was covered in a cold sweat, and I felt a chilled hand on my shoulder. When I looked up, it was Annie.

"Jean, are you ok? You were trashing around in your sleep again," she said, her monotone voice bearing just the slightest shred of concern.

"Huh? Oh yeah, it was just another bad dream, I guess," I replied, and I scooted over to one side of my bed to make room for her. She complied, and laid down next to me with her arms around my abdomen. I kissed the top of her head and gently strung her loose strands of gold through my fingers. I uh...guess I have some explaining to do.

Annie is my girlfriend. Now that I actually say it out loud, it sounds surreal. Like a hollow, empty joke. The title doesn't even begin to explain how I feel about her, but it keeps people satisfied. Annie and I have an odd relationship, to be frank. Neither of us feel a romantic connection to each other; in fact, I'm pretty sure she's got a thing for Bertholdt or Mikasa, I can never really tell with her.

But we do need each other. After Marco died, after I told everyone what had happened, she was the only one that didn't treat me like a three legged puppy. I remember the first few months after people knew, everyone wither avoided me like the plague or acted as if I needed constant sympathy. Even Eren layed off on me, and that's saying something. After everone changed, she stayed the same, and I craved that feeling of stability.

Similarly, she craved human touch. Sure, Reiner and Bert were great friends, but after they had become an item two or so years ago, you could almost see the life draining out of her. Slowly, she stopped spending all of her time with them, and now she only ever really hangs out with them every few days, if she's lucky. Once, I caught her sobbing in her bunk, and I sat down on her bed and held her. I didn't ask questions, for fear of her breaking my neck, but I'm pretty sure that was the moment we started getting close. We were each other's rocks.

Don't get me wrong, the sex was pretty ok for the most part, even if one of us ends up crying right after. More often than not, we cheat on each other, because it's easier to fuck the sadness out when the person you're doing doesn't know how much you hate yourself. My one night stands are usually girls I don't really hang out with. I've been with Hitch a few times, but her perfume makes me gag. Mina's sweet, but it makes me feel like a pervert watching such an innocent flower writhe under me. I almost hooked up with Mikasa after a few drinks at a celebration party when we took back a part of Wall Rose, but I ended up deciding against it. I didn't deserve her when I was sober, why the hell would I deserve her drunk off my ass.

Annie's cheated on me too, of course. I catch her sneaking out of Eren and Armin's bunk the most, although I'm not sure if it's Eren she's screwing or Armin; maybe both, who knows. What I do know is that we always end up coming back to each other, sleeping in my bed every night. She moved in around six months ago, probably because she was tired of sneaking across the gravel field every night.

We stayed like that for a while, curled up against each other, until the sun rose up from behind the Walls and the morning alarm rang. Slowly, she got up and put on her pants. She always slept with her hoodie on, even if the damn thing was on its last limb. I tugged on my boots, realized they were on the wrong feet, pulled them off and tugged them on again. We both showered and brushed our teeth in the bathroom sink, and I did her hair. Bertholdt used to do her bun for her, but after they became distant I took over. I let her bangs hit her face and tied her hair up the way she liked. I even added in a little braid on the left side that curled into the bun.

We left my cabin and made our way to the mess hall; after all, a mediocre day can't start without a mediocre breakfast. I scowled the entire way there because of the sun glaring in my eyes. Needless to say, neither of us were morning people.

I grabbed a tray from the rack and made my way to the ration deposits, where I gave the guy working the counter my last grain ticket. In return, he handed me a bowl of soggy oats and warm milk, fresh from the Lullabelle the cow. I managed to snag some stale bread, too, along with my vitals: cirtus pills (fruit had stopped growing on the toxic land inside the Walls long ago), protein bar, and carb powder to mix into my water. Yum.

I walked over to my usual table, Annie striding alongside me, and sat down. Reiner whispered something into Bertholdt's ear and let out a hearty laugh-- Bertholdt only blushed and quirked a smile. I glanced down at where Annie sat next to me, and her façade was impeccable; stoic as always. Eren was asleep in his bowl of soup, and Armin made light conversation with Mikasa. Connie and Sasha were complaining about how early it was, and Ymir scowled as Historia etched a flower onto the taller girl's dogtag. It seemed like the only thing that had changed about the 104th over the past four years was our appearances. Well, that was true for everyone besides me.

I matured a lot after Marco's death to say the least. Eren and I still fought like toddlers, I still chased after Mikasa, and I cracked an occasional joke followed by my signature smirk every once in a while, but I also became more reserved. I didn't talk about my problems to anyone anymore, that had been Marco's job and I felt like no one else deserved the place. Connie and Sasha had tried to get me to open up, but they learned to just give me a pat on the back and let me wallow in self loathing for a bit. Annie and I only did a few things together: fuck, cry, and sleep. Thus, I kept my problems bottled up until they burst out like a firework in a glass house at some poor trainee.

After breakfast, we all headed to the loading docks, my arm slung around Annie's shoulder and her leaning against my side-- we might as well keep up appearances if we were going to refer to ourselves as a couple. The 104th Squad was embarking on a mission outside the Walls today. Prime objective: find a suitable patch of land to grow more food on, seeing as we literally had an army to feed.

Levi, our squad leader, mounted the back of a large supply truck and turned to face us. His hair was getting a little grey, but his face was just as apathetic as I remember it being four years ago.

"Alright, brats," he started, using his favorite pet name for us. "Thanks to some shit stains in command central, we're heading out at 05:00 hours. In case you're brain can't function well enough to remember a damn thing, our objective is to find land to cultivate. Can't have you dying of starvation when you're already dying of stupidity."

With that, we all loaded into grey-green jeeps according to teams, with Hanji and the rest of the reconnaissance team (a.k.a. Ravenous groupies) inside the medical truck. Even with the loud hum of the jeeps running over gravel, I could hear their high pitched 'oohs' and 'aahs' coming from a few yards behind us. Moblit probably had the patience of a god to put up with their rambling all these years.

I was paired up with Connie and Sasha, thank god. On any other day, I would have groaned about being paired up with Thing 1 and Thing 2, but after this morning's dream I was desperate for some comedic relief. Connie took the driver's seat and Sasha plopped down next to him punching in coordinates and checking heat signals. They still goofed around a lot, but I think years of learning what's at stake made them start to take their jobs seriously. With the front seats taken, I manned the gun screwed onto the back of the jeep.

By the time we were rolling out of the gates the sun was well above the horizon, so there wasn't much chance of me using the gun anytime soon. We continued on like that for a while, Connie and Sasha cracking jokes and eating food rations they snuck out of the kitchen. I stayed quiet in the back seat, admiring the scenery.

We had made it out of the ruins of the city, and were now in what was once suburbs. Tiny houses that held picket fences and perfect little families were replaced with charcoal ashes and remnants of memories. A scorched doll here, an old microwave there. Things that were so trivial, things that we took for granted before the Outbreak.

I tried figuring out what country we would be in if the borders hadn't dissapeared. I remember being taught in the military academy that the Walls took up a good chunk of what used to be Croatia, Hungary, Poland and Italy, along with a sliver of Switzerland. Judging by the speed we were going and the fact it was almost noon (along with my hazy memory of the world map), I guessed we were in Germany right about now. It would only be a few hours until we would settle camp in France for the night.

I was born in France. I don't remember jack shit about it though, because we moved when I was three. My mom still spoke to me in French, so it stuck with me up 'till now. She always told me to speak as much French as I could and to teach it to my children one day, because it was a part of me. If I lost it, it would be gone forever and I'd be throwing away my own history-- not that that matters anymore, seeing as any records I had were left behind in Seattle on my way to the Wall.

"Jean, are you even listening to me?"

I snapped out of my monologue to turn to Sasha, who pushed a couple buttons on the dashboard and then took out her flare gun. She loaded a red casing and shot it into the air; a Ravenous had been spotted. I surveyed the area and loaded the stationary gun propped up on the hood. Just beyond the horizon, a dagaz was scurrying towards us from an abandoned highway.

I almost laughed at the little thing. This is what Sasha was worried about? I aimed my gun and was about to fire, but something stopped me. I looked up in the direction the dagaz came from, and saw a pack of Ravenous headed for us. Usually they don't come hunt in the daylight, but the smell of fresh meat must have drawn them out, which means we only have one option left...

Show time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA DID IT GUYS YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE ONLY STRAIGHT CHAPTER IN JEAN'S POV IT'S ONLY GONNA GET GAYER FROM HERE  
> I don't wanna give away too much but I will say that Marco shows up in the next chapter owo as always, kudos, comments and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated, and thanks for reading!! Next update should be around Valentine's Day, so I'll be sure to add fluff.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 1/20/14: Almost forgot, I've decided to branch this out and add all the snk cast's point of view, which mean there'll be more pairings, more chapters, and it'll (hopefully) eventually lead up to something big. I'm almost done with Marco's point of view, and then I'll continue with Jean's, then start Ymir's, etc. etc. More worldbuilding stuff will also be revealed, so stay tuned!!


End file.
